A supernova, by definition is: the explosion of a star, possibly caused by gravitational collapse, during which the star’s luminosity increases by as much as 20 magnitudes and most of the star’s mass is blown away at very high velocity, sometimes leaving behind an extremely dense core.
I’ve been dealing with a certain kind of frustration lately, and I wanted to share it with you. See, last week I spoke about edging your lawn, and working through things. This week I want to talk about the inverse of that. Collapsing.
With each passing day, we are all faced with new challenges that we can either overcome, or be pressed down by. Mind you, the latter option doesn’t mean defeat. It just means that on the given day, perhaps you couldn’t find the answer to a problem and that is okay.
The most important thing is that you know that you don’t need to have the answers all the time. That’s okay, not knowing the answers allows you to step out and look for them. No problem will go unsolved as long as you continue looking and listening to the things around you. For me, it’s listening to you.
I don’t use the word “enlightened” because of how it has been used by those before me. Especially in modern times. Though its original definition was “to shed light” enlightenment has become this special word that people use to swing their own ideals into other’s heads. Whether that is morality or intelligence, or a set of world views. When one person considers themselves enlightened, it seems as if no one else can be. I have come across enough people in my life that believe they are enlightened and have all of the answers, yet misuse that power that I have decided to write about it. If someone is truly enlightened, they don’t feel the need to bring it up. Their light will shine for them, and they know it. I avoid using the worn enlightened to describe myself, because there is still a lot of darkness inside that I have yet to flush out.
See, this blog post is about falling behind. Feeling down. It is about being inadequate. To yourself or to others. If I were to ask you why you argue things, what would your answer be? Would you tell me that you do it to prove a point, flex your level of intelligence, or for some other reason? I could replace ‘argue’ with many other things and the answers would be the same. I know this of myself, and so from here on out I will be referencing myself. If I were to replace ‘argue’ with other things like ‘work so much’ or ‘get so angry when little things go wrong’ I would tell you that I do both of those things because I have a specific plan. I have many things that I want to share with the world, and, at the risk of sounding like Kanye west, I care about the quality of my work.
Some of you may have seen my post about buckling under the pressure and pushing back my deadlines for books. If you haven’t, there you go. My books will be released at a much slower rate because I want to take the time to get them right. I want to make sure that every single one is well read and leaves an impact in the hands of the people who read them. I have pushed back the deadlines by a year each on the three novels I was releasing this year. That being said, I have grown even busier.
This carousel doesn’t stop, ever. After pushing the deadlines back, I dived headlong into the root of my issues with the books. Planning. For those of you who spend a lot of time with me, you know that I like to have things planned. I like to at least have an idea what I will be doing on any given night. The same is true for my writing. I push and push to get things out by deadlines that are crammed in too closely together. Because of that, I am unsatisfied with the end result. However, this is all stuff I’ve said before.
The purpose for this blog post is to share with you that it’s okay to take a break. Its okay to be broken.
If you have a lot going on, and you are freaking out about what you have left to do… go outside and look at the sunset or the sunrise. Brew a cup of coffee and read a book for a while. Pick up your console and play a game, go for a run. Whatever you need to do to unwind is okay. Especially if the weight of life is bearing down on you.
Is work stressing you out? Bosses crawling all over you?
Is your personal life stressing you out? Do you not have enough alone time?
Is your family getting on your nerves?
Whatever the case is…
You don’t have to have all of the answers.
I am reminding you of this, but there is still a chance that you are just like me. You won’t listen to this blog post and you’re going to try to solve every problem tonight so that you can live without the pressure you put on yourself.
If you’re that much like me, then you’re going to realize in a couple days that the weight on you isn’t killing you. It’s just really, really damn heavy.
That’s the cool thing about pressure.
Pressure is what makes supernovas.
If you’re feeling crushed by the pressure of your life, in any combination of things… know that it is building you up for something incredible. See, when a star gets all of that pressure that pushes on it non-stop it begins to collapse. When a star collapses, all of that matter sucks up into the center and explodes out into the universe. It creates galaxies worth of stars with one explosion. It sheds light on everything around it, but it can’t get to that point without earth shattering pressure.
If you’re feeling the weight of the world today more than normal… just think to yourself.
You aren’t in this journey to be “enlightened” You aren’t a candle, meant to shed light to one room. You are made up of galaxies inside. There are storms inside of your soul that are begging to be set free, but we can’t always get there without a little push… and a lot of pressure.
Maybe you’re just waiting on your chance to become a supernova.