I Hate It (Poem)


Now, before you read this poem and get all weird about what I’ve said here, I’m releasing a much longer blog post about things this Friday. This poem kind of came about as I was listening to a band who used to be one of the grounding parts of my faith on their most recent album they’ve disavowed that faith overall. To catch my opinions on the concept of Christian Music/TV/Movies etc. I suggest coming back this Friday and reading all of what I have to say. I will post a short album review (A new possibility with the blog.)  Shortly thereafter, I don’t have an exact time as of yet. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this poem.

I mean what I said. Struggling in your faith is difficult, struggling in anything is difficult, but when it is the thing that grounds you to your reality, it is that much worse. I hate it.

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Check the website out to see a release calendar for the upcoming blog posts and other projects I’m releasing! I’ve been thinking about doing some new stuff on the blog just to kind of feel out what I’d like to grow into as I approach next year. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. I’ll see you again soon.


Bigger (Poem)


I’ve been struggling recently with the amount of stress I’ve been under. It’s been difficult to keep everything in one place and running smoothly. I’ve been faced with things I haven’t had to face in a long time and that uncertainty breeds a level of fear deep in my heart I wasn’t prepared to handle. More often than not I’ve found that I’ve needed to lean on myself to an extreme degree. But looping around myself constantly has been a challenge in and of itself. Still, there is no amount of stress that I can’t face. There is nothing that can overtake me. My power does not come from myself. It comes from Something much bigger, much more powerful than I am.

(I will be posting my weekly blog post later today as well, I didn’t have time to upload my poem this week + I’ve been struggling with internet shortages all week as well delaying my Dyzygy video being posted, but it will be up this weekend I promise!)

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The Darling Bones is still on sale for $7! Go pick up your copy today + enjoy a suspenseful story about a young man who has lost the most important thing from him, while he comes to grips with losing the love of his life, he finds out that she was taken from him and the darkness that enveloped his whole world returns, fighting to take him over.

But he will not relent, he will not succumb, neither should you.


God of the Gateway


The stars are these celestial beings spiraling above us at all hours of the day, singing hymns for the purpose of this universe. We are not unlike them, as we sing our own purpose too. With our passions and our hobbies, the way we meticulously trim grass or paint houses, we are adding to this kind of infinite chorus of the universe.

Each time you step out your front door the world changes, every time you make a decision it changes again. We live for this great meaning and yet so many of us don’t know our actual purpose.

There is a time and a place for all of us, it may not be today, it may not be next year, but every year that goes past we are given unlimited ways to build up and create our own life.

I like to think of it like this, at the onset of every morning, we are given a choice, stay in bed for a while and find the momentum to stand up, or stay there and rest. When we get up we have a handful of new choices to make. Shower, eat, get to work, play video games, paint, whatever the choice may be you have decided to move forward in one way or another. If you shower and eat, you are filling yourself with energy for the day. If you sit down to game for a while before jumping into your tasks, you are training your reflexes and hand eye coordination. If you read in the morning you are expanding your breadth of knowledge by a bit with every turned page.

Each action we make causes a new set of decisions to unfold before us. We can rarely choose multiple paths, lest we find ourselves overwhelmed by the pressure of completing many things at once. Of course this isn’t always the case and that idea is remarkable.

We can take on an infinite amount of tasks and jobs, or whatever the case may be. We will do many things in our lives but even if we stack up all of the things each of us chooses to do, let’s take the things we say, for example.

If we counted up on a celestial abacus all of the things each human that has ever existed has said, we still would not come close to the number of stars hanging in the sky above.

We are not infinite, not in our physical bodies, at least.

This also means we have been blessed with a kind of choose your own adventure that nothing else on earth is allowed to have. We can decide our own fate and our own destinies simply by the first choice of getting up in the morning. Having that kind of power is awe inspiring, isn’t it?

Within each of us there rests a small piece of something that another human needs to make it through the day. Encouragement, love, inspiration, a stern talking to. Everything we do, and I literally mean everything is watched by our peers. Every time I make a foolish decision, someone sees it and someone knows that I have done so, which will later on be used to see me in a different kind of light. When I do something that is encouraging or good for another, people will see that and they will likely turn around and do something the same for another.

We are linked together through this small connection, endless energy pouring out of our souls and into one another much like the stars that hand above us. Galaxies crash into each other the same way we meet people and become friends or partners or associates. We are all tiny galaxies adrift in the ever stretching galleon of space and time. A ship within a ship, I believe.

All of these choices we have to make, for good and for bad, come down to our own minds. Will we take up the honor of the stars and do everything in our power to love and uplift, or will we take a moment to consider that in a machine this large, nothing truly matters?

I think my answer is the former, and my response to the latter is this:

We were not built to be machines. We were built like trees. We grow upwards and our roots sink deep into the earth. We may leave our homes but those roots will always be there to feed us. My family will always support me, my friends will always be there for me. My life will always carry significant meaning because of the people that have crossed paths with me. All of these things rest in the end, on my shoulders.

I would much rather stand tall and stretch out, even on a lazy day, to be there when someone needs me than to sit idly by and watch as the world, as big and wondrous as it can be, still shake someone to the bones.

The world around us is a mean and nasty place sometimes. We know this right now more than we ever have, we can turn on any news station and see that this world is not what the peace bearing leaders of our past wanted it to be, so we should take up their mantle and fight.

Not with hands, but with words.

I believe in a God. This is not an unknown idea, and I believe this God did not design us to watch the world around us spiral out of control. I think our purpose is much grander than just picking up a passion, although important, I think we need to find our passion and use it to uplift, encourage, and to remind those around us that we are all just like stars. Each one of us twinkles in the night time, regardless of what we have done, there is purpose born into us.

We will never outgrow that, even those who choose not to use it.

The first step to all of this… is looking at the gateway before us and stepping through.

If you like this, be sure to check out the Life is not Meant to be Awful compilations over on Amazon! There you’ll find the first four years worth of blog post goodness.

Collapsing In


This is the final poem of January, and it is also my favorite of the bunch. I try to make sure it is apparent that I have strong beliefs, especially when it comes to my faith. Living in a world where people can’t seem to agree or get along with one another especially if there is a difference of belief can be stressful, you lump that in with the stress of running a blog, a YouTube channel, and working alongside writing books, it can be easy to crumble under the weight. That being said, I believe now and have always believed that there is an all powerful God looking out for me and my well-being.

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Thank you for reading my poems this month. I have been working on them much harder this year and I am excited for where they will be going in the future. Thank you for reading along this far. If you would like to see the schedule for the upcoming blog posts/poems on Gravity, My Enemy you can check out the LINMTBA website and see what I am releasing when I am releasing it.

Don’t miss it! My book “Mean Shadows”  is available on my website if you’d like a signed copy, or if you’d prefer a blank one, you can pick it up on Amazon. It is a compilation of 26 short stories that all have to do with the universe I have been writing into for years now, and the characters you meet within the pages will be important to know for the upcoming books as well. I hope you pick it up and find grand enjoyment out of it. (It’s also got a secret language you can decipher if you want to find even more secrets about my universe.)

Looking for more? follow me on Facebook and Twitter for updates on all of my other projects. YouTube, Poetry, Novels, and GME. Thanks for another super rad month of poetry!

Around About


I’m a Christian. There is no doubt about that. I don’t always act that way, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am. I’m not going to hide that to anyone, because it is such a huge part of my life. Still, sometimes I get irritated with Christian artists because of how they portray the faith. I understand that we aren’t allowed to do shit like everyone else, but that doesn’t mean it all has to be boring. This poem was inspired by that, specifically, the religious themes on Chance The Rapper’s latest mixtape Coloring Book, which, if you haven’t heard yet… what are you doing!? Go listen! It’s amazing.

Anyway. Here’s this. Thanks for reading. 🙂

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If you liked this or anything else I’ve done, follow me on Facebook + Twitter @alvatobiasbooks

Pulpit Races


This is the second “Fighting Dragons” Post that I missed! I hope that as you read, you enjoy it. I hope that it helps you.Stay tuned for the official post for today! It will be up in about two hours. 🙂

Life is not meant to be awful.

The other day I was perusing Facebook in some downtime from the move + the other festivities that have taken place over the last few weeks and I saw a new resident of Elko asking about going to churches. She was wondering what churches believed what and where she should go to get her fill. In the comments I saw a handful of people talking back and forth about what churches that they attend and how they like them, I heard a bit of smack talk from the non-religious crowd, which you’ll get anywhere, then I heard a few people talk about one church in particular and said it was “the best church”

Now, I think the church my family goes to is the best one, but I learn and listen differently than most people do. The comment and thought process reminded me of a talk that my mother and her best friend used to have when I was younger about different materials making up the pulpits. It was a big sarcastic joke that I can’t remember all of but in essence it was a comparison to different denominations.

That being said, with all religious groups there are things that are okay just as there are things that aren’t, not every church is equal, and I especially can’t stand when they stand up to preach hate from their podium. That’s the difficult thing about being a religious person today. The world around us expects us all to behave and to think a certain way, and by and large religious people can’t be a part of that. More than just Christianity, as well. Many faiths don’t support these ideas that have become so prevalent in the world around us. The whole concept of religion and faith is difficult to talk about without diving neck deep into theology and scripture, but in layman’s terms my faith revolves around the rules God made for us. Some things are encouraged, others are forbidden, a few are required. Getting into the specifics of it wouldn’t make much difference over the course of this blog post so I will save it for one in which I have more time to write them all down in.

The big thing I wanted to address today was the concept of superiority.

In most cases, religious groups believe the way that they do because their faith is the only one that they believe will secure them a seat in the afterlife. That creates this idea of superiority within the ranks of the church/organization. That superiority creates a division in the people around them. Which leads to those religious people dancing and praising in their halls with only themselves. Certain groups have made it a point to reach out to non-believers and draw them in with fun services and cool ideals, but (personal experience here) some of those people have grown accustomed to their shells, making it hard for them to open up. This can lead to complications that ends with people either being removed from the organization or people leaving of their own free will, generally with the idea in mind that they want to stay away from religion forever.

I’ve seen people who take their faith too far in the wrong direction and terrify passersby.

I have seen people turn their nose to those in need because “God will take care of it.” (Side note, that whole idea about God doing things? That starts with you. He fully well has the power to do so, but it’s important for you to work on it too. Good deeds start within yourself.)

What I’m trying to say here is that I’ve seen a lot of ego coming out of religious groups lately. Which upsets me, because ego has no place in religion. Religion should be a platform used for love and passion, not ego and aggression. So, to all of my church-goers that read regularly, please watch yourself and your friends. It doesn’t matter if your pulpit is made of wood or plastic, what matters is that you are loving people the way you’ve been instructed to do. I can’t tell you that you faith is right or wrong. I have no proof that you would believe, I can only speak for myself. Which leads me to my non-religious readers. Make sure that you watch us religious folk. Especially if you don’t understand a faith. Ask questions, make sure they are being loving. It’s important that we keep that in mind at all times. Your pulpit might just be Mother Nature, but all of us have a duty whether you believe in God or not, we were put here in the very least to love and to be loved.

Never lose sight of that, if you do, it doesn’t matter what your pulpit is made out of. You can’t truly speak for it if you don’t know what you’re speaking for.

If you liked this or any of my other writing, please follow me on Facebook + Twitter @alvatobiasbooks

Bible Study Kids


In an effort to overload you on religious stuff this month, I have another blog post about my faith. I’ve chosen to write this for two reasons. First, because I feel as though I have fallen out of true practice of my religion. I have been lying in a pot of lukewarm water and waiting for things to happen. Waiting for a fire to alight inside of me. Waiting for some kind of holy divination to fall upon me. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I wrote this post because I’m tired of waiting. I need to do something. Secondly, I wrote this because I think that my experience here can help a lot of my religious and non-religious friends alike when it comes to their view of the world.

To start this off, we’re going to go way back in time to when I attended a church here in Elko called Calvary Baptist. There, I was part of a program called the Royal Ambassadors, which was basically the Baptist version of boy scouts. We made pinewood derby cars and line gliders and read bible verses and did all kinds of crafts and had an overall good time. That being said, I want to talk about the bible verses thing.

There is a lot of stress on Christian youth to learn bible verses and have them memorized. They are your weapons against the wiles + temptation of the Devil, we are told. While I don’t disagree with the practice, I disagree with how it was presented to me. In Sunday school, in between my long periods of time checking out the cute girls that went to class with me and also trying to focus just enough so that I wouldn’t get in trouble, I was given a task every week. In Sunday school as well as Royal Ambassadors. I was tasked with memorizing a bible verse. It could be any length or what have you, but I had to have it memorized by the next week. (Well, not had to, but I was encouraged to with a reward of animal crackers and a juice box.) Because I am who I am, and I always have been this kind of guy, I waited until the last minute to cram the bible words into my brain space so that I could recite them as fast as possible back to my teacher. This practice started in Sunday school but was soon carried over into my academic life. I would cram the night before a big test so that I could pass it the next day.

It destroyed my brain. Many of those verses and test subjects have long since been forgotten in the caverns of my mind. I have limited space up there, and I needed to keep the important stuff fresh. Like what bands were releasing new music and what books were coming out and what games would be fun to play and so on.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve gotten much better about doing a last minute blitz to get something finished. Instead of 20 minutes before it’s due, I can get it done at least within 24 hours. Sometimes even 48.

Jokes aside, it’s important for us to remember this idea.

Rarely in this life can you keep something in your head that you have to cram in there. It takes time to learn and to soak up that knowledge. Whether that knowledge is Bible verses, English notes, Birthdays or anything else. Time is necessary to learning new things. It is something that should be spent in enjoyment and not in a rush. Good work is never created in a hurry.

Your life is your greatest project. Don’t hurry through it. Take the time to enjoy the ride and soak up what you can. If you have trouble, there are people all over who have been asked questions that you haven’t. There is no shame in asking for help. Whether you’re asking for help from your parents, your friends, your peers, or a God.

We are all connected. We all move at different speeds. Take that into consideration. Let people move at their own speed, but don’t ignore them so that you can go ahead. We all have the same destiny. Let’s make sure that the journey is enriched with our beliefs and our knowledge. Make sure that our passions never die.