About Gravity, My Enemy + Alva Tobias

         Gravity, My Enemy is a blog meant for those who are struggling, those who seek inspiration or hope, those who want to find someone who will try earnestly to understand them. Through poetry, short stories and life lessons Gravity, My Enemy opens up the door for people of every kind to flock and find a place to rest their tired eyes. It isn’t always easy, but you can find magic in anything. Join in, enjoy your time here, and when you leave just remember…

Life is not meant to be awful.

There is magic for all of us in everything that exists. Don’t believe me? I’ll show you.


 

In 2012, there was a lost young man who searched endlessly for purpose or meaning to fill his life. The desire for something bigger than his own mind overwhelmed him until one day out of the blue he was shown a gentle kindness, a simple act that succumbed him to the wholeness of human sincerity. A woman entered a restaurant before him and purchased his lunch without so much as a thank you or a smile in return. This phantasmal woman came into the young man’s life when he needed it most and without realizing it, changed the direction of his life forever. This young man went on to become a writer and a poet, eventually with a grand idea for himself and those around him, understanding that there are few ingredients needed in a whole and profound joy:

People need other people.

We are all experiencing life simultaneously and can at times feel as if we are traveling through each story on our own. Years of this thought lead to each of us in some way believing that we matter less than the person beside us. It destroys our hope and our chance at joy. We begin to find that life is too much. We claw at desperate thoughts and revel in despair. That horrible feeling nestled deep within each of us is the place that Gravity, My Enemy was born. In the darkness, when each of us is lost for light and hope, those are the kinds of people this blog is searching for. Those are the people that Gravity, My Enemy is written for. Those who know where to go, but don’t know the way. Those who’ve found a path and let it fall just out of sight. Those who feel defeated and broken. Those who think they’ve lost that spark of creativity that gives us all our magical humanity. Each word evoked on this page is meant to feed you. To help you. To give you some manner of hope, or inspiration. Despite the sometimes overwhelming odds that life can stack against us…

Gravity, My Enemy seeks to give you a moment of solace. A brief respite from the world. With a few words a week and a yearly decision to tell a story of one young man’s journey as he grows into the person he promised he would be when he was only a child, GME is home to the life lessons of many told from the perspective of one. One who falls and slips from his path too. At times the tales are dark and frightening, but there will always be joy within. Something for each of us to seek after. Something for each of us to hold on to for one more night. To carry us to the sunrise. It isn’t a perfect formula, but within us rests a magic that is strongest when the broken pieces of its users come together to weave a new tapestry, to tell the story of a life lived in moments, triumph and heartache, joy and sorrow that will be played on repeat. This world is the canvas that heralds our story. It is up to us to come together and write each word.

After all, in this world, there is nothing perfect. There are only things worth believing in.

Who better to first believe in, than yourself?

 


 

I’m Alva Tobias, and to be frank. I can be a bit of a disorganized mess. Ever since I was a kid my parents would regularly get after me for having such a messy room. I didn’t clean up after myself as much as my dear mother would have liked, but that messiness led me to who I am today.

What does that mean? Well, As I graduated high school and considered the mess that my relationships and life goals had become, I looked up to the night skies while I was on a boat in New York City. Cruising around the Statue of Liberty I saw the night sky in a way I had never seen it before, and it all suddenly made perfect, messy sense.

Each of our lives is disorganized in places we don’t want them to be. All of us have this space within our heads reserved for grand ideas of things we have always wanted to do and never were able to. These lost dreams dot the landscape of our messy minds like stars in the night sky.

Have you ever looked out into space? At first glance, it seems as if everything is a disorganized mess. If you were to look closer at the heavens you would see that everything is aligned in the perfect place. Each star in the sky pointed to guide us. Each messy dot inside of our heads drawing out something that I think we often don’t take into account.

That mess is our creativity.

I chose that night to settle on something to do. A pissed off teenager on a plane ride home from the east coast and I thought I had solved all of the world’s woes. I had an answer for everything, but when I made it home and found out I’d been signed up to work at Walmart I was furious.

“But mooooom, I don’t want to be a Walmart janitor for the rest of my life!” I would exclaim as she told me she had turned in some applications.

Of course, if it hadn’t been for that janitorial position I would have never wound up here.

Working as a janitor wasn’t all bad, though. I had a lot of money and a lot of free time to play video games with my friends. Of course, when those became my only goals in life I didn’t realize how backward my ideas had become. Each little star inside of my galaxy flickered out one by one.

When I had grown to hate my job because I didn’t want to be a janitor forever, I considered quitting. Two or three times, actually. It wasn’t until I had a chance encounter with a sweet woman at Subway in that Walmart that I had a massive change of heart. Back then, I was in line for lunch and talking with the sandwich artists over the counter about not having money on my card to pay. (An old inside joke about their credit card machine failing every time I wanted to eat.) That was when this woman whom I’d never met before, and haven’t seen since, paid for my meal. I didn’t realize it until long after she had left, but that small act of kindness was all it took to get my wheels turning.

After I clocked back in that day I went to the men’s bathroom and sat on the floor, cleaning cart barricading the door for hours as I furiously scribbled thoughts and ideas into a notepad I’d kept in my pocket at all times. A habit from my childhood, when I actively sought out the magic in things.

That day I came up with the idea for my first novel, one which never saw the light of day.

As if some being in the sky had flicked a switch, those stars I thought had burned out, all of those ideas I had come to bear within me began to reignite and I realized something powerful, that has stayed by my side ever since…

Life is not supposed to be a torture sentence.

Life is not a calculated string of misfortunes.

Life is not at all what I had made it out to be.

 

Life is not meant to be awful.

 

Ever since then, every waking moment has been channeled into that creative fire within me. Novels and poems, music, art and creation of any kind has been my bread and butter ever since.

I even adopted my grandfather’s namesake, because I knew that this was the greatest thing I would ever do, I would dedicate it to him. It is what I was destined for…

To make those messy galaxies within my soul a reality. That’s what I’m here for, and Gravity, My Enemy is just one fraction of that universe that’s been ignited.

The fire within me is still burning, and I hope you feel it here.

Now, it’s your turn. I want you to see that those dim stars within you. Those ideas you’ve left in your messy bedroom are brilliant and beautiful, burning like a million suns up close. There is magic in you too, no matter how faint it may seem.

-XIII

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@alvatobiasbooks

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