Reconciliation

I’ve been off my schedule lately, and I apologize. I have one more to post tomorrow and I’ll be back to the grind.

The other night, I saw this guy who I’ve had a problem with for a long time at the bar of my restaurant. He and I have been enemies for as long as I can remember and every time he comes to mind, I lose my cool. It’s difficult to explain. I think you could say I hate him, and I could list a million reasons why I do, but it isn’t worth the time or the words I’d use to explain.

It’s unjustified.

See, I’ve struggled with this guy for years, personally, in my own way. Excluding the things that he’s done or said to me, I have had a serious issue with him on my own right and that’s because I made it a point to pay attention to every little thing he’s done to me that I deem unsavory. I cling to these memories in a sick, twisted passion for how much I detest him. Recognizing this, I once made a concerted effort to hold back, to repress those feelings, but it doesn’t do much good to repress feelings that are within you. Hiding them and pushing them down serve to only encapsulate your mind with the pressure of those emotions. They swell within you until you can’t control them any longer and you blow up, furious at the mention of the thing you’ve tried so hard to avoid.

The point of this short post today, is to remind you, as I was reminded the other day when he was brought up in conversation, to let things go. Don’t repress your anger, don’t hide it. Release it. It is seldom thought about, but is the best option in regards to your mental and in some cases, physical health.

My mom brought him up in conversation and I launched into yet another monologue about how much he hurt me and how much I hated him, without admitting either of those two things to anyone. I don’t think I ever have. The point is, you can’t allow yourself to become enveloped in the hatred. You can’t be swallowed by your anger. I promise you, if you aren’t careful, it will swallow you one day.

Think about that person or that thing, the thing you hate. It doesn’t matter what it is.

Think about how quickly the memories surge forth from your mind and consider the peace you would have if you chose to release that emotion, to let go of the anger and the hurt that you hold on to.

I still need to, and I’m working my way through it all.

I’ll tell you, it’s a whole lot easier than holding on to all that TNT, just waiting for it to blow.

www.linmtba.com

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