This was the second blog post I had published back in September of ’13. I look back on this moment fondly, it is so easy to slip up on the things we commit ourselves to. If it were easy to be this kind of person every day, we wouldn’t make those kinds of commitments, would we?
If you are carrying a weight today, read on. See what I saw four years ago. I hope it kicks you in the ass like it did to me.
This week was hectic for me. I started working at an old job, while working for the one I currently am. I would get home at around 10 p.m. and then go out to sweep parking lots for a few hours at midnight. I’d get home from that at about four and then go to bed, which I would have to get up the next day at ten. It might not seem like much, but with all of the other stuff that was going on, I was losing my mind. My stomach just felt like a big ball of stress, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I had so much to get done, and less than no time to do it. After I added in visiting my kitten, and making sure I had enough sleep to properly operate the sweeper that night, I had about two hours to; Write a chapter in a novel, organize a story-line for a new story, do a ‘final draft’ (For lack of better words.) on a collection of songs I plan on releasing, and five or six other things on my daily to do list. I literally couldn’t finish anything past the first item on any given day.
My week was hell, in short. Maybe it wouldn’t be for some people, but it felt like it to me. And that is when I realized something: In Greek mythology, there was a titan named Atlas. His job was to literally hold the sky. He stood every single day with it on his back. I personally think that the sky couldn’t be that heavy. It’s just air, right?
That is my point.
Every person you meet in your life, has something that is proving to be a burden for them. Even if it is small, it might really matter to them. Maybe they had money stolen, or have an important meeting in their job, or just destroyed the pool table at their favorite bar after a fight. no one really knows, and it occurred to me that when I started looking at things this way, my problems didn’t seem so bad. I started looking around and seeing all these broken pool table fellows, and victims of theft when they really needed money, and it hit home that I was basically complaining because I was getting less sleep than I wanted.
Sometimes I think that people do that when they don’t mean to. We think we are the most important just because our problem is annoying us more than anything else. After I realized that my only problem was that I wasn’t as rested as I’d like to be, I mostly got over it. (It helped that I was with my best friend and we were talking and laughing.) Through all of my day yesterday, the ups and downs, I also realized something that is really important to me.
I haven’t helped anyone in a long time.
When I help people, it makes me feel so much better about everything. My problems don’t look, or feel nearly as big when I’m focusing on somebody else. In the end, I kind of think that the reason I got so stressed is because I have spent so much time thinking about me, my problems and my needs. I spent no time thinking about what the people around me are in need of.
I spend a lot of time pretending I’m Atlas. I carry my whole sky on my shoulders. It would do me well to set it down once a while and help lighten someone else’s burdens. If you are anything like me at all, I hope this reaches you.
Life is not meant to be awful.
Thank you for the first of many walks down memory lane. I hope to spend a grand time here, for as long as we need it.
If you liked this post + are new to my blog, consider picking up Volume One of the “Life is not Meant to be Awful” Compilation, you can find Pretending We Are Atlas and many more within the pages!