Thank you for this amazing birthday week. I’m so happy you are here to see it with me.
Today I turned 24, so I suppose it technically isn’t a quarter of a century, but the life expectancy isn’t 100 in America + there is no reason to be anal about every little thing. So you get “Quarter” Century Blues today.
I don’t mean to mislead you. I’m not going to be talking about having the blues.
Today I won’t be talking about the ails of the world and the things that burden me nearly as much as I will be talking about the things that keep me going. Sure, the horrors of the world around us are my primary motivation, but there is so much more than that. Dedication isn’t something that we have gifted to us, it is something that comes every day and it is our choice. I wake up in the morning knowing what I am here for and knowing where I am going, even though I don’t exactly know how to get there. I wake up with purpose.
Motivation is different, it comes in waves. Some days I’m hit with motivation and I have to pen down every single thought I have. Sometimes I can write whole novels in 30 days, sometimes I have to fight with everything I have to sit down and write anything at all. Even one line.
Since day one I’ve tried to be as transparent with you as I possibly can and that will continue going forward. 2017 has been troublesome and there have been many roadblocks but dammit…
I woke up today.
I’m 24 years old with 13 people in a group of friends who I love with all of my heart. I have a job, I can pay my bills, I know when my next meal will be. I can always express myself creatively, regardless of who I am with. I have so many friends and family members who support me and love me. I am blessed beyond description.
There is nothing to even say right now.
I have debts, I have doubts, I have apprehension about so many things. I go to sleep every so often wondering if my poetry will hit the ground and connect with people. I wonder about the upcoming releases I have planned for novels. I wonder about my plans to do music and the longevity of my health. I concern myself in the night time with so many different things + at the end of the day I forget something important…
None of that shit really matters as long as I have the people in my life that I do.
Some of you may go and some new ones may arrive, but I am not going to let those things change how I live.
Today I love you.
Tomorrow I will love you. Even if we don’t agree, or we don’t approve of something when the sun rises.
It’s so important to remember that the sun did rise each new day. Our trip doesn’t take long, even if it feels like it does. I’m so blessed.
I’m so blessed.
Thank you, everybody. I am so blessed.
You are my dedication. You are the fire that keeps me moving. You are what remind me of my motto, you created it.
So remember that life is not meant to be awful. Thank you guys. Happy Birthday!
Categories: Noose Ends