In the 50th episode of HIMYM, Barney finds a porn film starring “Ted Mosby” and they launch into the quest to find him. Meanwhile, Marshall gets a job with an environmental company and also has to go to an interview for a law firm that represents everything he is against. While behind the scenes, Robin finds out about a huge sum of credit card debt that Lily has, causing her to root for Marshall to take the high paying corporate job.
There is a lot in this episode that we could talk about, Credit card debt, the process of becoming a lawyer, the porn industry, but the thing I want to focus on is the struggle for Marshall. The choice between what you want to do and what is best for your position is such a difficult struggle to endure.
As some of you know, I am planning a monolithic experience to unveil with my writing. I am staging things with my work so that it comes across as one grand story that you see filled in piece by piece, in essence. Not that I’m trying to reveal my hand too early or anything, but the numbers and the hours I will need to put into these things are astounding. It’s what I want to do.
At the same time, I have been offered numerous jobs, a few of them have offered me great pay and benefits for what I would be doing, albeit not a lot of free time. Which means that I would have to put my writing and such on the backburner until I find myself in a more stable position financially.
I don’t agree with that right now.
This stage in my life requires me to only pay for and care for myself, I have no significant other and no children to care for. That will change sooner or later, and I will need to find something that I can use to provide for my family then. Right now, I want to have all the free time that I can to work on these books and this blog and so on. I have large and ambitious dreams, which puts a damper on the whole “getting a job” thing.
A concept I will likely talk about more in the future, is ikigai.
Ikigai is a Japanese concept. “A reason for being.”
What this boils down to is the idea that everyone possesses a reason to get up in the morning. Finding that purpose often involves a complicated search inside your heart for what you truly desire and what you are truly capable of. I will speak more on ikigai in the future, but the small definition will lend enough for the purpose of this blog post.
This struggle, where Marshall finds himself and where so many of us real people find ourselves between the “dream” and reality can poison your insides. It can eat away at you for years because you constantly give up what you love for what you need.
The reason I like the concept mentioned above so much is because it lends to the thought that what you need is what you love. You take those two things and put them in a different order and it makes searching for work and doing the “hard” stuff that much easier, because everything you do becomes a stepping stone to your future.
On the path of doing what you “need” and not what you “love” it is easy to lose touch on who you are as a person. It is as simple as committing to something that is not inherently a passion and you can lose sight on your goals, your personality, your aspirations and your dreams. When that happens you will slip and become someone you don’t want to be.
Think of every burden, every sing thing you don’t want to do or don’t want to experience as a stepping stone.
Take this shitty job now so you can have a higher paying one in the future, it will be easier to care for you family.
Take this busy job right now so you can end up with a more flexible one.
Relocate yourself now so you won’t be trapped in a city you don’t appreciate.
Transfer your belongings now so that you don’t lose them.
Everything in this life can be used as a platform for you to push off of and turn your life into something amazing. Situations you don’t’ expect will always rear their heads, but you should be sure to always fight back and take control of the world around you. There will be no bad surprises if you prepare yourself for anything. Before you know it you will be skipping stones from the height of the river and looking out over a kingdom of your own creation. Then you will know how it feels to be strong, to have fought for something you loved, and you will know what it means to be at peace with your life.
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(Mean Shadows is available for Pre-Order right now!)