HIMYM Series 34: I Love You Slut (S02:E12)

If you’re new to this series, it goes over the wonderful television show “How I Met Your Mother” episode by episode to review all of the things that I have personally taken from it that I want to share with you. Because of this, you are liable to read spoilers about the series within. If you’d like to avoid those SPOILERS, then please come back later. This post will be around for some time.

In this episode of “How I Met Your Mother” Robin’s younger sister comes to visit her in NYC and brings her boyfriend of the time with her, who she plans to sleep with. Robin begins freaking out about the scenario because her little sister is still a virgin, and the boyfriend sports a fauxhawk with black fingernail polish. Which is clearly too much for one guy to be sporting. Should he have picked one, I’m sure the situation would have been different. Regardless, the group then explains why Robin’s sister should wait, which then leads into Robin telling Ted that she loves him for the first time.

I enjoy this episode because it highlights a lot of things about relationships today. I know a handful of people who are still in that mentality that allows them to “love” everyone they meet two weeks after meeting them. Now, this statement could be confusing considering that I constantly talk about how much I love people, but it’s a different kind of love. I’ve spoken before about how love can come in different degrees and forms. There is the love I share for my family, the love I have for my boys, and the love that I have for my close friends and coworkers. All of these kinds of love exists separately, but come from the same core idea. On top of this, there is the love that you hold for your relationship partner. Which is a whole different story. That is (to me) the most powerful and easiest love to influence, because the heart can be so fickle.

People today, myself included, seem to believe that love is something that just happens. That one day you get up in the morning and you are in love with someone, which means that you can go out with them and cuddle and date and sleep with them whenever you want, but then two weeks after you hook up that feeling is gone. I’ve felt that exact thing before, I know what it is like.

I also hate it.

The mentality that comes with that is a selfish one, the idea that love can be used to get sex actually really frustrates me, because that’s not what love is at the core. Sure, sex and love go hand in hand, but there isn’t a reason to make the two things inseparable. I have heard stories from a handful of my girl friends who tell me that they think they are in love with some guy and then they hook up and suddenly the guy has vanished from their lives, leaving them heartbroken and really pissed off.

It’s sad that this is common enough that I can link it to a TV show, but it’s true.

It might be a rather unpopular opinion, but I think differently about sex and relationships.

I won’t shit talk people who like sex, I think it’s healthy to enjoy it, but at the same time there is a certain thing that should go along with it. I don’t see the sense in hooking up with people that I have no intention of being with. That’s my personal thought. If I’m going to sleep with someone, it’s because I really do care about that person. It’s because I would be alright with building a life together with them. That is not an opinion that I’ve always carried, however. After high school I would have been glad to get laid by just about any girl who wanted to. I didn’t really care, and I think that’s sad.

I think we should care more about the people we allow to get that personal with us. I wouldn’t want to get tangled up in that mess anyway. I’ve seen so many people wind up neck deep in drama (or in worse cases, diseases) because they are hungry for sex without love. That’s like eating the cherry but not ordering the rest of the ice cream.

People have told me before that sex is great in out progressive society because it nurtures feelings of affection towards one another. Those people are right, it does nurture feelings of affection, towards whoever you sleep with. That’s part of the whole deal. It doesn’t make us into some big nudist love clan. If it did, there wouldn’t be a category of crime labeled “Crime of Passion”

Of course, I’m kind of an old school thinker and I know a lot of people are going to disagree with this thought, that’s okay. I want you to be happy with yourself, but I also want the people reading this blog to think critically about everything. Sex is a lot of fun. It’s also super important to the human race. While it’s a great experience, it can be easily tainted by the image that surrounds it.

I think the message that I’m trying to get across here is that, as archaic as it might sound, sex is something that should be reserved for someone who you care about. It shouldn’t be something you throw around like currency. I haven’t seen that scenario work itself out yet, and I don’t know if I ever will.

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As always, I love you. I hope you’re well.

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