Before we get into the meat of the blog post, I want to let all of you know that this post series contains a lot of spoilers about the show “How I Met Your Mother” + If you haven’t already seen the show but would like to, please come back and read up on this blog post later to save yourself the frustration of having things spoiled for you. 🙂
In this episode of “How I Met Your Mother” you meet Barney’s brother, who is the exact same as Barney but only gay. The foreshadowing here is incredible because it’s the first time that you get to see Barney deal with a baby. Despite all of the sleeping around and lying and sleight of hand that Barney has become famous for, kids are always his strongest point in the show, just look at how he is with them. Dammit it makes me so happy. Proof that there is good in everyone.
Barney and babies is not what this post is about however, so I’ll leave that out of it from here on out. This post specifically is about how your friends change when they get into relationships. In this episode, Christmas time has fallen over NYC and the whole group sans Barney are holed up in the apartment doing couple things, when Barney starts to feel left out because he is the only one out to do all of the single things he used to enjoy with Ted.
This leads to him calling in his brother and his brother getting them to all go out and have a good time for a while. James, (played by Wayne Brady) gets the group together and inspires them to go out to a club. While they are there, the news is broken that James is in a committed relationship. Something that is absolutely against Barney’s ideals, which inevitably leads to a rift between the two. Through the course of the episode you see how much of an impact it has on Barney, taking him to a pretty sour outcome until he learns that James and Tom are planning on adopting a child. When he finds this out, Barney changes his whole perspective.
That’s a big thing about this whole situation. Perspective. I have two good friends who are getting married within the span of two months and I couldn’t be happier for them. Their fiancés are great and I love them with all of my heart, but it doesn’t change the fact that my friends changed because of this.
I have been single for quite a while now, with the exception of a few dates here and there, and I’ve grown accustomed to it. My friends on the other hand, haven’t. It feels like a new world when Preston hops up in the middle of hanging out with us to go visit Allison.
Now, don’t take this the wrong way. I love that he’s willing to do that. It shows a lot of honor from him. It shows that she is more important to him than we are, and that’s okay.
Too many people lately have been trying to pass off this whole “bros before hoes” mentality as something legitimate.
It isn’t. In fact its garbage. Your friends shouldn’t come before the love of your life. Unless the love of your life happens to be one of the people in your group of friends, and even then, he/she should be your priority. That’s how relationships work. I’ve never been upset when Preston or Travis take off to be with their girls. I think it’s great because I see that so little now a days. There is this idea floating around the back of guys heads that tells them that they shouldn’t make their girlfriends a priority because that means they are “whipped”
To the guys who say that, I’ve got to mention. At least they’re getting whipped. What are you getting there, handsy?
I think it all stems from this idea that we can’t fully give ourselves to another person because it makes us weak. It might seem like a stretch but think about it. Guys aren’t allowed to give time to girlfriends over their bros because that makes them seem whipped.
Girls aren’t allowed to trust men because “all men are dogs.”
Guys, since they can’t make who they want a priority, they have to make excuses to see their woman instead of telling their selfish friends to kick rocks.
Girls then gossip about how they boyfriend spends more time with his bros than he oes with her, but won’t actually voice that concern to her boyfriend directly, allowing him to think that he can do essentially whatever he wants to.
Then the guy blows off his girlfriend, in an attempt to make a power play and it puts a gash in the relationship.
I think that relationships as a whole have gotten to be a mess. There are so many relationships I see now that are just one person trying to prove that they can swing more weight around than the other one. Guys, that isn’t what relationships are about. That never was their purpose.
I’ve seen both sides of it in close friends. Relationships should be about taking the good and the bad. Admitting that you want to hang out with your girlfriend more than your bros is a perfectly fine thing to admit. You don’t lose power, you don’t lose rank. All you are doing is being honest and there needs to be so much more of that in this world.
So, friends, if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, go see them today. Bake them cupcakes or something. Spend time with them if they are good for you. There is no reason that you shouldn’t. Continue building up that relationship and maybe, just maybe, you can make something else in this world beautiful. That’s what I’d like to do. It’s all I could ever ask for.
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