This week is a nice follow up to the previous week’s blog post about pain and heartbreak and break ups. I hope that you follow along and enjoy it. I’m putting a great big SPOILER tag here for anyone who hasn’t seen How I Met Your Mother. If you’d like to witness the show progress naturally, I wouldn’t read this blog then. I’m not offended. I’d much rather you come back knowing how everything plays out rather than having some of the big moments spoiled for you. Life is full of big moments. Sometimes it’s better if you don’t see them coming. If you’d like me to check out any other media that you happen to enjoy, leave a comment in the blog and tell me what it is! If I haven’t seen/heard/read it yet, I will and I’ll write up a blog post about it when I have a chance.
On another note, check out my blog books! The Gravity, My Enemy Compilation books “Life is not Meant to be Awful” volumes one and two are both up for sale at Amazon! They’re $8 a piece and are filled with the best blog posts from the first and second year of the blog.
Episode 24 of HIMYM is a rough one your first time through, all about how Marshall and Lily’s separation affected the both of them. Through the course of it we watch as Marshall tries to get out into the dating world again and meet new women, only to have it spoiled by Barney each time. Lily on the other hand is pretending to hold up this wall and act like everything in San Francisco was fine, while it definitely wasn’t. She has this thing about her in the shows and it’s something that she does frequently. When Lily cries, it’s rarely a real cry. It’s this fake, almost hollow wail that she makes and it grades against my ears. At the end of this episode, for the first time in the series she really, truly breaks down in tears when confronting Marshall.
He had just left the bar after a foiled attempt at hooking up with a girl, and runs into Lily who practically begs him to get back together with her. When he denies her that, she begins to break down.
I think it’s powerful. Despite how much I hate Lily’s fake cry, I think that there is something there. Whether it was intentional or not, she does it every time the thing she is crying about isn’t a big deal. I say that loosely, because even though I’ve burned through this series about 14 times over, I still can’t remember everything perfectly. When she is drunk earlier in the episode and talking to Ted and Robin about her experiences, she gets a call from the landlord of an apartment that she had applied for and is turned down, eventually breaking the wall she was keeping up and the real side of her emotions begins to shine through.
I’ll say it now, and hopefully not have to repeat it later down the line. Lily is one of my least favorite characters on the show. Because for the most part, she has that almost hollow countenance all the time. In a lot of ways she is selfish, she meddles in other’s affairs constantly and the story would have gone dramatically different had she not been involved with everyone else’s lives.
Still, these rare scenes where Lily gets real are almost made more poignant because of the rest of her attributes. I’ve equated it to the feeling of seeing someone who always acts with bravado or carries themselves with nothing but pride getting broken down and seeing their human side. It breaks my heart to watch.
When Marshall turns Lily down, it breaks my heart to watch, because despite all of their setbacks you find yourself rooting for their love. You want them to reconnect, and that isn’t always how it goes. More often than not, when a breakup of that kind happens, things don’t ever go back to normal.
There’s a weight of humanity in that scene when Lily begs Marshall to take her back and he replies:
“All that crap you said to me about, we need to figure out who we are and we need to learn to do things on our own, it broke my heart.” “Three months ago you broke my heart.” “…”Lily you were right. All that crap was right. So, no. No we can’t get back together. We shouldn’t, at least not right now.”
It kills me inside, because I know that sometimes, even when you want something with all of your soul… it just doesn’t happen.
When it doesn’t happen, remember, just like I’ve told you before. It’s okay.
It’s okay to have a broken heart.
It’s okay to not be okay.
Just make sure, for your sake, and for all of the people who love and care about you, that you get to a place where you could consider yourself okay.
Let your wall come down, if that takes tequila or good friends or having your hopes dashed…
Know that you can get back up. Know that it’s okay to end up on the floor. It makes it that much easier to reach those bricks supporting all of that worry, and you can tear them down from there. If you do that, after the dust clears… you’ll see everything in such a wonderful light.
Even if you had to go through three months of darkness to get there.