I’ve come to find that in this life, my redheaded friends have taught me so many things and shown me so many lessons, and I can’t ignore that. Three of my close friends, Mike, Dianne + Lukas all seem to have a way right to my heart whether they know it or not. Each of them have given me so much and I don’t know how to give back to them appropriately, so I’m going to put their lessons on the internet where they will sit forever + hopefully be enjoyed by others, because they are good people. I love them all to death.
Not too long ago, Mike was talking to me about love.
It was weird, because we hadn’t spoken to me about it ever before, not like he did the last week of the restaurant. He told me how he met his wife, and as he did he was explaining to me what he thought love was. He told me that so many people get infatuation confused with love. That wanting to be around someone a lot isn’t what love is. Love is stability. I couldn’t handle his words and started to well up with emotions as he continued to give me the advice that he had given to a couple of the guys before me. After we were finished talking and I had gone home, I thought about all the people that I’ve tried to form relationships of any caliber with. In retrospect, not a lot of them were really love. So much of my life I had spent pursuing fragile enjoyment through physical contact or a façade of emotion that inevitably was broken every time. I thought about what Mike told me and tried to proof it against all of the long standing relationships I’ve seen. My parents are stable, my best friend and his fiancé are stable. Every long standing relationship that was also working out for those involved… was stable. It hit me in the heart and I began crying, drunk on my bed, because I was given a small morsel of advice that hit home right when I needed it to. I need that kind of stability, especially since my head is always floating in the clouds with new ideas and stories and pictures and all the rest of my passions. Stability… Stability is the spice of life.
A while ago, Di and I were talking at a local restaurant.
She was telling me stories about her birthday and the adventure that she had gone on, and we eventually traded stories back and forth and it hit me in a special way. I was listening intently and then something popped up in my head, that this was a person that truly cares about me and where I’m going. I smiled and nodded as she continued, and we parted ways. That day, Di reminded me that what I’m doing is important. If it’s only to one person, someone is listening. Someone cares, and if I can affect just one person a day, then I can have the energy to keep going, to reach out, to extend this crazy idea that life is not meant to be awful to everyone around me. That is so refreshing, and I remember it intentionally on those days that I start to feel weighed down by all this work, that I’m doing it for a reason and it is really helping people. It’s really doing what I wanted it to do. That feels good. Hope… Hope is the spice of life.
Every day I talk to my friend Lukas.
He’s been my friend now for years, but I’m always comforted by that knowledge. See, he lives up in Idaho and maintains contact with us constantly, when someone needs him, he is there, he still makes an effort every day to be our friend and when he returns to town for a visit we get to embrace him and tell him face to face how much we miss him and love him. I’m not saying that other friends don’t do those things too, but Lukas is a special breed. He’s gone on to do all kinds of stuff and live his own life and he’s grown so much as a person since he’s gone, and I’m so honored to still call him my friend because he reminds me with every word out of his mouth that friendship is important. I know that he is there for me and that he loves me, I don’t know nor will I ever doubt that out of him. So many people wanted to make me believe that my friends in high school wouldn’t be my friends forever and I’m laughing now because they are. They always will be and Lukas is evidence of that, because he loves us so damn much. I can’t dispute the integrity in him, because he cares about us all and wants us to know that he loves us. I’m humbled, and honored to call him my friend. Friendship… Friendship is the spice of life.
Through all of this, I’ve learned so much. These people along with so many others have inspired me and pushed me and encouraged me every time I’ve needed it and I can’t be more thankful. So in case you have a redheaded friend around, keep in mind that Ginger is the spice of life. Sprinkle some into your days, you won’t be disappointed. I know I haven’t been.