I’ve been going through “How I Met Your Mother” now for eleven weeks. That thought alone is simply astounding, but as this week passes by I will still have some 190 more weeks to go. (Just over three years if I should plan out every single episode into one blog post each.) That being said, it has been an adventure. I’m excited to be writing these and sharing my feelings and thoughts with all of you. (Even if the blog post is late because I forget what day it is. Like this one. My bad.)
With that out of the way, I want to get into this week’s post about HIMYM. This show has impacted my life in a lot of ways, one of them is that it has reminded me with every twenty minute episode that I shouldn’t give up, on anything that is dear to me.
Episode twelve, in short, is about Ted getting Robin to go with him to a wedding just after she breaks up with her boyfriend of the time, and the rekindled feelings that Ted has for her. He does this and it nearly splits the couple hosting the wedding up. With that thought in mind, I wanted to talk about being single, and getting kicked in the sprouts.
I have the great honor of being the best man for my longtime best friend turned brother, Travis. He is engaged and planning a wedding with the love of his life, and watching the two of them makes me yearn for that same kind of companionship. (It’s possibly going to get mushy here, prepare yourself.)
In planning the bachelor party for him, and talking to him sporadically through this moment, I’ve come to realize something that is talked about in HIMYM. Love should, on some level, be easy.
It’s no secret that I personally have a hard time with relationships. Mostly in part that I’m terrified of the outcome, and automatically avoid the whole concept (which is something I am working on.) In part, it is because with the people I’ve felt that attraction to, it hasn’t been that kind of easy. There is always something in the way. I think it’s me. I think that I’ve been single for so damn long that it’s all I know now, and I need to get that mentality out of me.
It’s not that easy. I’m a picky person. At least, I tell myself that I am. I’m sure that there are tons of other things at play that I don’t readily recognize, but as it sits, that’s what I see. I’m a guy who spends his nights in, writing books or poetry, or working his tail off when I’m on the clock. I don’t give myself a lot of time for romance. Let me tell you from experience that kills you inside.
At least… it kills me.
I think on some level that I can’t describe, I’m waiting for love to surprise me. The only downside to that waiting, is that I’m not out there for it to get to me. I’m cooped up with the same people all the time which brings me to another point. It’s important to get out there and meet people. Rarely will you strike up a conversation with a random person in public and click (on any level) enough to begin spending time together, romantic or platonic.
There, I’ve found myself at an impasse. I’ve successfully identified the thing I’m so terrible at. I have this staggering fear of allowing myself into a relationship. It isn’t because I’ve been hurt in the past, or because I’m afraid of being cheated on. I think it’s deeper than that. It’s something that I can’t yet identify.
This blog post is a reminder to me, and hopefully to you as well if you are in this boat, to be more like Ted. Something that I would never say aloud in any other circumstance. I think it is important to get out there, and to be a part of things. I think it is important to always be open to the idea of romantic love, even if it is going to surprise you. A surprise is good every once and a while. It’s even better if it leads to something that makes you happy on a subconscious level. The kind of happiness that comes from seeing the man/woman you love is a kind of happiness that can’t be explained away or quantified into words.
I’m saying this for myself, and for anyone out there who feels the way that I do…
Get up, go outside, get some fresh air and meet new people. Do something you wouldn’t regularly do. Have a night out with your friends. Open your mouth and let words flow naturally, there is nothing to be afraid of. No dragon or beast or fear is going to stop you. It is only you that will stop you.
Get out there, and if you’re lucky, you might just get kicked in the sprouts.