Episode 11 of HIMYM is about the gang going all out on New Year’s Eve so that they can find the best party and stay there, the episode itself is about Ted’s romantic attraction to Robin (as always) and Marshall and Lily getting separated from each other, putting them in danger of not being able to kiss on New Year’s which is one of their traditions.
If there were ever a time of my life where New Year’s wasn’t important to me, I don’t’ know when that was. Probably when I was too young to understand what it meant. New Years Day is in important day for so many people for so many reasons, a big part of it is that it’s a fresh start. They stack up all of their failures in an effort to start over with less the following year. A lot of people make resolutions to live better the following year, to do things they thought impossible or difficult, to overcome obstacles and the like. It’s because of this reason that I like New Year’s Day.
It’s really like turning a page. All the stuff from 2015 that happened is in the past now, and we can move on to 2016. Which is fine, but the thing that I like about it is much simpler.
New Year’s Day is a reminder that we can start over, at any time we want. You don’t have to wait until January to do it. You can do it right now. There is nothing stopping you. Time is not a solid line and it never has been. At this moment, you can decide to dropp all of your baggage and your problems and lead a new, different life that makes you happier. You can stand up and face your fears right now. This year on the blog is all about fighting your dragons. Your fears. The things that make you quiver. In honor of that, I’m putting a list down below of the things I’m afraid of. The things I want to start over for.
I’m afraid that no one will like my books.
I’m afraid that I spend more time writing and working than I do with family and friends, and that time spent is going to end badly because those people will leave me.
I’m afraid that my attitude has grown sour with each passing day and I can’t fix it.
I’m afraid that the people I hold dear will be gone tomorrow.
I’m afraid that all of these things I’ve lived for and worked for, for almost four years now will fade away and I will become a distant version of myself.
I’m afraid of being alone.
I’m afraid of being in a room full of people that don’t enjoy my company.
I’m afraid of so much more.
So I restarted. I turned the page and I do so every day, constantly working on myself and my fears and my shortcomings. Some things aren’t coming along yet but they will in time.
This blog is a personal thing, it will always be personal, but right now I can talk about close friends and family and they will know I’m talking about them. I can bring up personal events and people know what it is about. That’s a powerful tool to use, so I want to use it.
I said it a few weeks back, and it hasn’t changed. I need support. I need help. There are so many things that I want to do in my life, but I can’t do them alone. I need the support and love of those I treasure to overcome the storms of life. I’m comfortable admitting this, because I have realized this thing about myself.
I have spent too long in my life turning page after page, trying to make things work and failing at it, only to stand up and try again the next day. You are a product of what goes on in your mind, and because of that the decisions you make for yourself are the most important. Don’t let yourself be weighed down by those choices. If you are trying to become a better person, you will do what you have to when you have to do it.
Don’t wait for New Year’s Eve. Make those steps now. There is no time to waste.
I’ll see you on the road.