There was a part of me that hoped to align this series with the actual holidays, but the numbers don’t quite work out. This episode of How I Met your Mother is about Thanksgiving, and how the holiday isn’t always what you expect it to be. That no day is.
Episode nine of HIMYM is about how Ted and Robin go to volunteer at a shelter and feed the homeless, only to find Barney there busting his hump to do the same. Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall travel to Marshall’s hometown, St. Cloud Minnesota. The episode goes along as usual, a funny joke here and a funny joke there, but it’s the theme of the episode that really gets to me.
Life will be full of ups and downs. Not every holiday will be a good one, but it’s the people you have with you during those times that makes the bad times alright. This is following up from last week’s post which came from a pretty hurt place. I have taken time to remember what it means to have important people, and as I stand up on my soapbox, I’m going to tell you what that means for me.
I don’t especially like holidays. Not as they are presented to the world. They are by and large, a means to get you to spend ungodly amounts of money on things that you don’t really need. Thanksgiving pre-dates the most selfish day of the year, Black Friday, where people in America literally trample each other so that they can save $40 on a 53” TV + Entertainment System. Christmas has become a religious argument that is meant to impose this idea of religious hate on our culture. (This year a woman yelled at me because I told her Merry Christmas, but she was yelling at me because I also said Happy Holidays, and she believed that Christmas was the only holiday running through the expanse of December. I promptly gave her shit and sent her on her way, because that argument is a foolish one.) Regardless, holidays have been morphed and twisted. New Year’s Eve/Day are both about getting hammered with your friends, or in many cases, strangers, and then making pledges to yourself that the upcoming year will be one filled with positive lifestyle changes and new ways to look at things. A lot of times, this works out well, but there are many people who can’t stay true to it because it was a drunken promise and take it from someone who knows, drunken promises are impossible to keep.
The thing about Thanksgiving that upsets me is that it is by and large, glossed over by the world. While the holiday in and of itself means nothing to me, the celebrations of that day do. It is a time where I get to sit down with my family and share memories and good fortune and be reminded of just how much they mean to me. The same goes with my friends. Thanksgiving is a time that I use to remind myself to be thankful, for every good thing and every bad thing that comes my way.
This blog has seen a lot of up and down. I have shown you guys many sides of myself on here, and I have always tried to be as honest and transparent as possible. When I am going through a hard time and my road is rocky, I share that. I tell you that I will overcome it, and I do. Sometimes in life, I just need time to think and to process things. Sometimes I just need a moment to myself so that I can make sure everything is ironed out smoothly. Such is the case with my current situations. Emotionally, physically, in my friendships and in my familial relations, I just need a moment to think about what has been going on and find a way to smooth things over. To forgive, to apologize. To do what needs to be done.
I haven’t been myself lately, and it’s been obvious. I have been grumpy and needy and lonely. I have been ultimately confused and to be honest, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow morning, but I do know this: The people I have surrounded myself with today have gotten me through this far. They have encouraged me when I couldn’t encourage myself. They have spoon fed me turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce when I wasn’t thankful for the limitless blessings that I should be able to see in my life with each passing day. Those people are the reason I’ve gotten up in the morning and the same reason I have gone to bed at night. No matter how much I feel hurt sometimes or how I might begin to feel neglected… Those people are the people that I love. They support me when I need it most.
When things are bad, it’s good to have good people.